kungPOWchicken

竟然忘記放地圖! 因為地圖把其他照片擠掉了，請按這裡看清楚。
Da Vinci Code Soundwalk長度約一個鐘，中間介紹約二十幅名畫。頭、尾都是尚雷諾 - 我男朋友，在耍性格講故事。名畫的圖片將會分批Post上來，並且把圖畫的重點摘要告訴大家。但是今天，要先說說此導覽特別吸引人的地方。 
我沒想到一個單純的耳機導覽，可以加入那麼多細節、引導、誘惑。隨著腳步聲、人群聲、電梯開關門聲以及電影情節的對話穿插，達文西導覽肯定是個成功的商業作品，而且找我男朋友-尚雷諾來主講，真是太恰當不過了。今天，我要把尚雷諾先生在導覽中最富表情的聲音對話告訴大家。(本人可是蹲在勝利女神旁邊的階梯，聽寫了很久呢。)可惜的是，我沒有全程跟隨雷諾先生的腳步拍照，所以...反正沒去過導覽的朋友請去巴黎身歷其境，一定永生難忘。

(粗體)裡寫當下的反應和心裡的OS，非常愚蠢但是那時根本不自覺。朋友們知道我花了十塊歐元聽尚雷諾導覽：「妳聽的時候，一定高潮陣陣吧?」 
沒錯，根本就是「用生命當花痴」。 
也許跟隨Hollywood電影瘋狂崇拜達文西密碼是件愚蠢的事，but I really had a lot of fun! 
↑打蛇餅
 
↑入口在金字塔裡面
每個月的第一個禮拜天羅浮宮免費入場，可惜草莓要在家騙小孩，無法與我同遊。草莓媽媽給我帶了營養午餐(兩片蛋糕)，一瓶水，在門口揮手說bye bye，並祝福我跟尚雷諾先生有個愉快的Trip。出了Metro，由於本人還是分不清東西南北，竟然miss掉Carrousel du Louvre地下廣場的入口，而從金字塔正門排隊。我的媽呀，人可以再多一點，安檢前面人群「打蛇餅」，等二十多分才進得了門。 

↑營養午餐
到了Audio Guide Counter，租下Jean Reno主講的Da Vinci Code SoundWalk，拿張達文西地圖，我雀躍像出門郊遊的小學生，快速跑往Denon Hall手扶梯，按下Play，才赫然發現耳機只有一邊出聲。我知道要是一路上只聽到尚雷諾在一邊耳朵講話，一定會越聽越不甘心，可能還會發脾氣，所以馬上掉頭回Audio Guide Counter換個新的。
就在那「下定決心」的當口，電池死掉了。
去她的，櫃檯小姐給我一台爛貨。
換了台新導覽，迫不及待按下Play(Test一下好了，省得又給我一個壞的)。 
↑Langdon & Neveu

↑Captain Fache
Da Vinci Code懸疑緊張的電影配樂在耳邊響起，Sophie探員的答錄機啟動：Professor Langdon, Do not React to this message. You must follow my directions very closely………(哇賽，好逼真喔!)
Welcome to le Louvre.
My name is Jean Reno. Some of you know me as Captain Bezu Fache.
(隨著人群緩緩前進。) 
Oh, Wait! Where are you going? Stay where you are.
(一愣，緊急煞車，左右看看，難道他人在現場嗎? →簡直愚蠢到爆)
You should be in the entrance of Denon Hall.If you are in the right place, the audio guide counter should be on your left, the bookstand on your right.
Now, look up. Above you is a small glass Pyramid. This is our starting point. 
(讓路到一旁，專心聽講。) 
Ok. Before we go anywhere, Listen to me carefully. I have some rules for you.
(很堅定的對著空氣點了個頭，嘴巴還發出「嗯!」的聲音)
1^st : Don’t go anywhere UNLESS I SAY SO. I am going to take you to the scene of a crime after all.(好好好，人家哪裡也不會去) 
No. 2 : You will hear my footsteps, follow them. Be one with me.(點頭如搗蒜+害羞) 
當我跟台灣朋友講述這一段時，Andy說：聽達文西導覽的一定都是女人跟愛老花仔的Gay。雪倫：對啊，哪個異男聽到尚雷諾說Be one with me.不會想摔耳機，恁爸好好一個男人幹麼be one with you.
No. 3 : If you fall behind then simply press pause, to continue press play. If you really get lost, look at your map and press the number to return to where we lost one another.
Most importantly, just relax and enjoy the ride. (配樂越來越激昂，腎上腺素開始分泌。) 
Are you ready? Get your ticket in hand. Let’s go. (好開心好興奮好想手牽手) 
Start walking.

叩..叩..叩…叩..叩..叩…叩..叩..叩…→這是尚雷諾的腳步聲 

Can you hear my footsteps? (點頭) Good, Are you with me?(再點頭) 
Show your ticket to the lady.(票，票咧?一陣慌亂趕快從後口袋掏出來，還真的是個女的在收票) 
Merci, Mademoiselle. 叩..叩..叩…(好真好真好逼真~) 
Have you made it through? (點頭)
You are in the tunnel, keep walking. 
Now, we are going to take the elevator, the grand gallery is a long way by foot. 
In front of you are 2 escalators. 
Don’t follow the crowd. (快閃，我不要跟你們這群愚蠢的人潮走在一起)
The elevators are on the right and left.
It doesn’t matter which one you take. K or L, they both to go the first floor.
(我走向右手邊的L電梯，伸出手正要按下按鍵….) 
Andy聽到這一段，問我等電梯的時候，門口是不是有四百個女人搶破頭要按電梯。其實沒有啦，但是刷刷刷刷，來了數台嬰兒車還有數個三五歲大的小孩….真是的，一次來那麼多電燈泡是怎樣…. 

Now you are in front of the elevator, if it’s not working, just look at your map and follow the instruction, ok? 
Push the button, it can take some time. If so, press pause, when the door opens, press play. I’ll be waiting for you on the next track. (好，等你喔~) 
電梯開門 
GET IN TO THE ELEVATOR. We are going to the top floor. 
The button marked N1. Do you see the red sign with the Mona Lisa? 
Push the button next to her. N1.(我按 我按 我拼命按，想把其他人關在外面) 
Just one thing, we are going to the top floor. Skip the middle floors.
We’re going to the Salle Denon, Room 76.
This is where I brought Professor Langdon. This is where our story begins.
電梯關門 
電影對話：You seem uncomfortable, Professor Langdon… 
When you get there, I’ll be waiting for you on the next track.(嗯!) 
電梯行進。
電梯停，門開。

You made it, we are on the first floor.(是啊，I made it. 來個擁抱吧!)
Take a look around you. This is the Salle Denon.(自轉360度，啊!因為太興奮而頭暈)
Look up.
Now walk toward the window, the middle one.(馬賽進行曲給我放出來，衝啊!)
Before I take you to our destination, I want to show you where you’ve come from.
Stop here for a minute, nice view from here, no?(點頭)
Do you see them arriving from the left? (Langdon and Lt. Collet arriving.)
(誰?誰?沒啊?我誰都沒看見，眼裡只有你，法舍探長)
電影對話：Captain Fache is waiting for you.
Mr. Langdon, I am Captain Bezu Fache.
Do you like our pyramid?
The scar on the face of Paris.
After me, please. (你好兇，真是太Man了~)
正式開始講課
Over the years, I’ve heard it all.
From the ones who think this pyramid has destroyed the dignity of the renaissance courtyard to the ones who find it the graceful and exquisite symbolique link between the old and new, the ancient and modern.
When the Architect I. M. Pei was asked why a pyramid? He responded very simply.It is the most classical form of rising.
Look at the clarity of the glass. It was invented specifically for this project – the glass that will never turn green. But I have a little secret for you. I counted them. There are 673 panes of glass, not the satanic number of 666.
Now, turn around. Walk back to the center of the room..叩..叩..叩..

Take a look of your right and left down these long red corridors.
This is the Grande(?聽不懂) of France.
The pyramid is behind you.
Turn right and walk through the entrance straight in front of you.
We’re entering Room 77, Salle Mollien.
The Large Format of French Paintings.
Keep walking.

下次尚雷諾先生會幫我們上美術史，請大家好好上課。